A friend sent me a link to an article by email. I liked what it has has to say, so I thought I'd share it with you...
How do you know when you are being mistreated (and should do something about it), or if you are taking things too seriously/personally?
The easy answer: If one person makes you defensive, then that person is probably bad for you; if nearly everyone does, then you're probably bad for you.
You can be "bad for you" in two general ways: by seeking out relationships with highly critical people, or by taking even the most harmless remarks as criticism. Or both, I suppose, if you like your maintenance high and your relationships testy.
Both, however, share the same source. Insecurity. The fact that people are different from you — in habit, taste, culture, faith, sense of humor, sex drive, intellect, income — is not personal. It's not an insult when people don't change to please you; it's not an insult when you can't change to please someone else. Even people close to you.
If you like and accept who you are, you aren't going to fear other people's differences, or your own, as a threat. You can handle a few negative reviews.
But if you have doubts, other people become reflections of those doubts. They become the critics you need to impress to show yourself you're OK; they become the people with "potential," the ones you hope will validate you by learning to do things your way; they become the abusers who feel right and familiar and comforting because they share your low opinion of you.
I'm not sure I understand much of this.. if God loves you, you're okay.
And God loves you. :-)
Without That, the world -- unless one is a terrific hardass or sociopath -- could fold up for ya every few minutes. Well, at least on the U.S. east coast. It's cold as hell, here.
Posted by: Carol | January 23, 2007 at 11:25 PM