After a month-long break from blogging to finish up school year work and prepare for my summer break, I anticipated that would return with something on a more uplifting note. As I read the story posted below, my emotions ranged from deep sadness to outrage. The words of Jesus from Sunday's gospel echoed in soul, "Not all who say to me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven."
Among the many things to find truly appalling in the story, the fact that the child's mom was issued a citation on Mother's Day for taking him to Mass stands out. Tears should pour from heaven.
BERTHA, Minn. -- Carol Race thinks it's important for her 13-year-old son to be in church on Sundays for Catholic Mass.
Leaders of the Church of St. Joseph once felt the same way, but not anymore. They say Race's autistic son Adam is disruptive and his erratic behavior threatens the safety of other parishioners.
The northern Minnesota church has obtained a restraining order to keep Adam away, an action that has been deeply hurtful to the Race family and has brought them support from parents of other autistic children.
"My son is not dangerous," Carol Race said. The church's action is "about a certain community's fears of him. Fears of danger versus actual danger," she said.
In court papers, church leaders say the danger is real. The Rev. Daniel Walz wrote in his petition for the restraining order that Adam--who already is more than 6 feet tall and weighs more than 225 pounds--has hit a child, has nearly knocked over elderly parishioners while bolting from his pew, has spit at people and has urinated in the church.
"His behavior at Mass is extremely disruptive and dangerous," wrote Walz. "Adam is 13 and growing, so his behaviors grow increasingly difficult for his parents to manage."
Carol Race said Walz's claims are exaggerated.
"He's never actually injured anyone," she said. "He's never knocked down anyone. He's never urinated on anyone or spit on anyone."
Carol Race was cited for attending church May 11 in violation of the restraining order, and faces a hearing Monday. She says she can't afford a lawyer and will defend herself in court. A lay mediator is scheduled to meet with her and church board members on Wednesday.
Autism is a developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to communicate and interact with others. It is more severe in some people than others. Adam has limited verbal skills.
Walz did not return calls seeking comment, but Jane Marrin, who works for the Diocese of St. Cloud and is acting as a spokeswoman for the parish, said the church board tried working with the Races to find "reasonable accommodations." That included offering a video feed of Mass that could be watched in the church basement.
The family refused all suggestions, she said.
"It's a difficult issue," Marrin said. "There are no easy answers."
Carol Race dismissed the church's suggestion that Adam watch a video feed in the church basement, saying that "does not have the same status as attending Mass. Otherwise we could all just sit home and watch it on TV and not bother to come in."
"It's considered a sin in the Catholic church not to attend Mass on Sundays and every holy day of obligation," she said. "And that's what this is about. I'm just trying to fulfill my obligations."
Adam is one of five children. The family's home in nearby Eagle Bend has separate study rooms so the other children can read books and use crayons that Adam could otherwise destroy.
Carol said Adam has two favorite spots in the house, the prayer room and the kitchen table. "He likes to eat," she said, laughing.
Adam is prone to anxiety attacks. Carol said some of those outbursts force members of the family to sit on him to calm him down, or restrain his hands and feet with a strip of felt.
In his court petition, Walz said that after one service Adam got into another family's car, started it and revved up the engine while there were people in front of the vehicle.
"Adam's continued presence on parish grounds not only endangers the parishioners, it is disruptive to the devout celebration of the Eucharist," Walz wrote. "I have repeatedly asked John and Carol to keep Adam from church; they have refused to do so.
"In fact, Carol told our parish council that she would have to be dragged from church in handcuffs if I tried to keep Adam from attending Mass," he wrote.
There is a lot more that can be done in the way of offering support than forcing a kid to watch Mass on a video from the basement. Forcing someone to sit in the basement is not a reasonable accommodation by any stretch of the imagination--It's discrimination.
As someone who works daily with autistic teenagers, and as the parent of an autistic child, I have several questions. Has the diocese, consulted an autism expert, or has anyone done as little as having contacted the school to discuss what support they use in the classroom? Did they consider paying a trained person to sit with him (there are people who do this--I know several)? Has anything been done to educate parishioners about autism?
As my wife was leaving for work this morning I could sense her sadness over having learned about the story. I told her, "Look at it like this, it's another diocese--not us." She was quick to correct me, "No, it is us. This hurts the whole Church." Indeed, when this kind of thing happens it not only hurts the family who must suffer through the ordeal of not being understood--not loved--and not accepted. It also hurts their parish, their diocese, and when it makes the news it hurts us all. On a spiritual level it hurts us regardless of whether it is news or not. It is a situation that cries out for justice.
I think it is interesting to juxtapose this story with the fact that in 1941 young Joseph Ratzinger had a 14-year-old cousin--a few months younger than he was--who had Down Syndrome. The cousin was taken away by Nazi authorities and presumably killed under Hitler's euthanasia program for the disabled. I know what John Paul II had to say about people with cognitive disabilities. In light of the incident with his cousin, I'd like to see Pope Benedict also say something.
In the past, at the masses where I do not serve at the altar, my wife and I have chosen to sit in the back of the church with our children, including our autistic son--I think from now on we'll sit in the front.
This is painful, Deacon Dan, but I can see the parish's side far more than Carol's. Adam is clearly and inarguably a genuine danger to himself and others. The parish has done everything they can to make it and keep it Mass for everyone. I know this won't help much, but my family and I have often sat in the parish hall, watching Easter Mass televised on a large screen. It wasn't the same, but it was Mass.
Posted by: Carol | June 03, 2008 at 10:58 AM
Carol, I don't see that it is so clear that Adam is a danger to himself and others. Nor is it clear from the article that the parish has done everything they can.
I actually have a problem with the press when it comes to this kind of story. I have far too many times seen a tendency in the press to make people with autism look like monsters. For one, I simply do not accept that the boy has done everything reported, and if he has then why has the parish or diocese not stepped up and offered to make things safer for him and others.
I also must say that I find it unspeakable that a Catholic parish would go to the trouble of going to court to get a restraining order to prevent a person with a disability from attending Mass.
I work with kids every bit as big, loud, and unruly as this boy may be, but I have found that typically they are a danger to no one. Also, with the right kind of support in place they can attend assemblies and events with little trouble. Again, what is needed is education about autism, and a healthy dose of tolerance on behalf of the devout parishioners mentioned in the article.
Resources may be found here.
Posted by: Deacon DW | June 03, 2008 at 01:53 PM
But he got into someone else's car and turned it on and revved it up--what if he'd put it in gear? This is not a smallish boy merely rocking and talking to himself! 6' tall and 225 lbs. If he urinates during Mass and attempts to spit on people and almost knocks down kids and elderly when he bolts from the pew--an accident which could be fatal, which would jeopardize his freedom in community for real and for all his life--and if his parents do not accept any of what a parish can offer, rejects it out of hand, and then when his mother even defies a court order, it's not a matter of the parish needing more tolerance. The mom needs to accept facts, as hard and heartbreaking as they are. A parish cannot wait to see if something will prove to be even more dangerous than what has happened already. It would be requested whatever the trouble is at the seat of such behaviour--these people are not anti-autistic kids. It's right there in black and white by mom's own mouth, that he goes out of control at home, and has to be sat on and restrained.
Would you ask your own parishioners to field all this every Sunday? We've had severely retarded people, almost as large, in our midst at Mass now and then, and for the most part, we all just pray that today won't be the stubborn time, etc. But Adam is far from this. I don't know if it's important to Adam to be at Mass, but I think you could really help his mom by giving her the name/number of trained someones who can sit with him as you mentioned. She is not going to stop and will simply bring him to some unsuspecting parish hoping for the best. All parents feel badly about this, I'm sure. It's really not a matter of NIMBY. It's far more. There is no easy answer.
Posted by: Carol | June 03, 2008 at 02:32 PM
This reminds me of the story of the black man in the deep south who becomes acquainted with the pastor of an all-white church. He tells the pastor he’s thinking of joining his church, and the pastor, worried how his parishioners would react, tells him, “Sam, you shouldn’t jump into a decision like that too quickly. Why don’t you pray about it before you make up your mind?” Over the next several weeks, every time Sam brings up the prospect of joining the church, the pastor tells him to pray about it some more. Eventually Sam stops bringing it up. One day the pastor gets up the nerve to ask Sam what he ever decided about joining the church. “Well sir,” says Sam, “I prayed about it like you said, and God answered me. He said, ‘Good luck with that, Sam, I’ve been trying to get into that church myself for years, and they won’t let me in either.'”
Posted by: Jo | June 03, 2008 at 09:24 PM
I find the comments made here by Fr. Robert G. Showers OFM Conv. to be quite enlightening, especially concerning Mrs. Race.
Posted by: Deacon DW | June 03, 2008 at 09:46 PM
Here's the version of story straight from Adam's mom in her own words--a side we really haven't heard.
And, ironically from the Minneapolis Star Tribune:
“In 2005, the Roman Catholic Diocese of St. Cloud presented Carol Race, Adam’s mother, with an award, recognizing her efforts to encourage families with disabled children to attend mass, she said. The award cited her “untiring efforts … to educate and advocate for others who have children with disruptive disabilities such as autism and seek to participate as a total family at Sunday mass.”
Posted by: Deacon DW | June 03, 2008 at 10:07 PM
To me the solution seems so simple. There's a TV in the basement where they show the mass? Anyone who doesn't want to be in the same room as Adam-- whether because they aren't comfortable being in the presence of a disabled person, they're paralyzed by a fear of differences, or they're operating under the delusion that the mass is a show that takes place on the altar instead of something of which each individual, including (and maybe especially) Adam, is a vital part-- can sit in the basement while Adam and his family truly celebrate the mass. Why should they all give up their pews just for one child? Because that's what it's all about, that's why.
Posted by: Jo | June 04, 2008 at 10:59 PM