Deacon Dan Wright

The Non-Sacramental Marriage/Wedding

My blog has never really been one where people write in questions but, as things are always changing, I'm certainly willing--even eager--to go in that direction.  So if you have questions about the faith, or anything else about which I might advise you, feel free to email me.  I may post your question, along with my response, and your anonymity is always guaranteed.

A reader writes in to me with the following:

I am a permanent deacon at a small parish...and have a wedding to assist at in August. As in most wedding homilies, they always focus on the sacramentality of marriage. This is fine when one or both of couple is a Catholic. However as you know, whenever a Catholic marries an unbaptized non-Christian person, the marriage is not a sacrament but just a “valid” Catholic marriage. Do you have any ideas as to how to tackle this?

True, only the marriages of baptized persons are sacramental marriages--even between a Catholic and a validly baptized non-Catholic.  The marriage between a Catholic and a non-baptized person, and even the the marriage between two non-baptized persons (at which, as deacons, we do not preside), is considered a "natural marriage" as opposed to its being sacramental. Nevertheless, it is still a marriage, and as such it holds the intrinsic dignity of marriage.  It is also important to keep in mind that in the event that the non-baptized party is baptized, the marriage will become sacramental without anything else having to be done. 
 
Beyond getting the necessary permissions or dispensations from your bishop, which I am sure you have done, you will indeed want to concentrate on your homily and on the wedding ceremony.  Keep in mind that even with a sacramental marriage, where both parties are baptized, your homily does not necessarily have to focus on the sacramentality of the marriage, though there's certainly nothing wrong with it doing so.  

For the non-sacramental marriage, I suggest that you focus on the readings (primarily the gospel) the couple has chosen, especially, if possible, bring in the aspect of marriage being a lasting relationship.  Also, try to focus as much as possible on love and the love that God is.  I have found a good rule to follow in ministry is to temper everything with love.  In doing so, you'll have no problem when disputing with your foes--so to speak.
 
Here's a homily I did some time back at a wedding where one spouse was not baptized.  Perhaps there are elements you can use.  Keep in mind that although one party is not Christian, the other one is.  Thus, it is quite appropriate to emphasize elements of the life in Christ and the Church. Here it is:
 

I have heard it said, "It is not love that sustains your marriage, but marriage that sustains your love."  This is something that almost all married people will attest to.  It means that you'll always have more love to look forward to in your life with each other, which you are beginning in an entirely new way today.
 
There's a secret to a happy marriage that's in the readings that you chose for your wedding.  The theme of unity comes through clearly, especially in the gospel reading, but does it make sense to talk about the unity of husband and wife if we're not given instructions on how to be one with each other?  The instruction is part of the scriptures.  The Lord tells us, through his prayer to the Father, to expect that the love of God be with us and part of our lives.  Put another way, husband and wife learn to be for one another the way that God is for us.
 
In marriage, it's good to pause occasionally and say, "Remember, I'm on your side; I'm for you."  This is a lesson that we take from our faith, which speaks of the marriage in heaven between Christ and his bride.  We, as the Church, understand that he is for us, his bride, in all ways and at all times.  Perhaps above everything else, being on one another's side means to learn to be forbearing and forgiving with each other.  The love sustained by marriage forbears, forgives, and learns always to say, "I will never leave you."  It's the secret to the lasting marriage.

So as you go forth this morning as husband and wife, I offer you my blessing as the Church's minister.  However, when you first found each other you likely found the blessing that means the most to the two of you.  It's with joy that we celebrate that blessing, as well as the Church's blessing, today.

Being Present

Vig-il - noun; ecclesiastical a devotional watching, or keeping awake, during the customary hours of sleep. 

In my ministry as a deacon I am rarely called upon to preside over a funeral liturgy, though in my seven years of service there has been one time that I did so, and a few times more where I have assisted a priest at a funeral. However, it is common that in the course of a year I will inevitably preside at a funeral vigil on several occasions.

Typically I will get a call to provide a vigil service for a stranger who happened to reside within the parish boundary. On other occasions I will preside where the deceased was a parishioner but was someone with whom I was not acquainted.

My ordinary, and admittedly sometimes somber, service of prayer and word usually concludes with an invitation for those present to spend some time with one another, and perhaps to share their memories from the podium. Meanwhile I offer my condolences to the immediate family and then exit quietly.

I recall years ago, while studying for pastoral ministry, I heard something about being present. Sometimes, I learned, the best thing we can offer is simply to be present: I interpreted it as meaning to be there when needed. However, this being present isn't as easy as it may seem, and it goes far beyond just being there physically. In ministry being present to others can be extraordinarily difficult, for it takes a meshing of hearts. Without the help of the Holy Spirit, being truly present to someone in time of great need might be next to impossible.

Recently I received a last minute request to take time from a busy weekend and provide a Sunday evening vigil for a recently deceased member of the parish. Once again, it was someone whom I had not known well personally. I had actually never met the family. Something important that they wanted was their own opportunity to speak on behalf of their father and friend when I concluded the rite. My original intention was to depart as soon as my part was finished. It seemed like it was going to be a typical vigil service.

However, ministry is something that sometimes requires us to wait for a while when we don't expect it. In a way that surpasses any reasons I can give, I decided not to leave after the final amen of the vigil rite. I sat and listened to the recorded music—there were three pieces, popular and sentimental—and then I waited while friends, grandchildren, and a daughter shared a little of their own hearts.

Something came to me at this vigil. I let the Spirit have its way. I slowed down and tried being vigilant, just as in my homily I had invited friends and family to be vigilant. I felt a blessing just waiting; just listening—not necessarily saying anything but being present instead.

When everyone had finished saying their farewells I was invited to say a final prayer. I closed my eyes and waited a moment… the words were not written on a paper in front of me, rather I let them come from my heart, and the tone was much less somber. I prayed words of gratitude—for the gift of life, of family, and of friendship. In my heart of hearts I prayed a secret prayer of thanksgiving to the Holy Spirit for teaching me a lesson on being vigilant, and most importantly, one on being present.

Motu Proprio on Tridentine Mass

(CNA) In an interview published this Sunday by the Italian Catholic daily “Avvenire”, the Vatican Secretary of State, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, announced that the Motu Propio authorizing the universal celebration of the Mass of St. Pius V—known as the Tridentine Mass—will be made public “soon.”

During the interview, Cardinal Bertone, said the Motu Propio that would be signed by Pope Benedict XVI would authorize any priest to celebrate the Tridentine Mass without the need for prior approval by the local bishop.

The Vatican secretary of State said Catholics “will not have to wait long” for the publication of the Motu Propio, adding that the Pope “has written an accompanying letter that explains the reasons for the decision and why he hopes the authorization will be calmly accepted.”

Cardinal Bertone did not say whether the Motu Propio would open the possibility for the return to communion with the Rome of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Pius X, founded by French Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre, who was excommunicated by the Vatican on June 30, 1988 after ordaining four bishops without the Pope’s consent.

The cardinal also said the Pope’s letter to Catholics in China would also be published soon, and that it has “already been approved by the Pope and is being translated into various languages.

Source

Since the time before I converted to the Catholic faith, good liturgy was something that attracted me.  My first experience with liturgical worship was at an Episcopal "high church" in the east Texas city where I grew up.  I recall that the liturgy there had little in common with the Novus Ordo that I have come to know so well.  For one thing I remember the eucharistic celebration being done ad orientem.

Shortly following my entrance into the Catholic Church 16 years ago, the parish DRE asked me whether I considered myself a liberal or a conservative.  Although to this day I shy away from that distinction, I answered that in terms of social action I might be considered progressive, but in terms of the faith I have always loved the tradition.  I was speaking from the only experience base I knew: that of Evangelical Protestantism.

I might answer similarly if someone were to ask me the same question today.  Over the years I've longed to participate in the beauty of well-done liturgy, and I've seen many variations of the Novus Ordo--though I have never experienced it in Latin.  Needless to say, I have never had the pleasure of experiencing the Tridentine Mass.

My hope is that the Motu Proprio will create a heightened awareness of the need to do liturgy well.  I hope that it will restore a sense of belonging to those who have felt alienated from the Church by the new ways of doing things.  Even more, I hope that there will be peace and less of a rift between traditionalists and those who are happy with the way things are.

I have to admit that I doubt I'll be seeing a Tridentine Mass at my parish any time soon.  I doubt there would be many people who would attend except perhaps out of curiosity.  Acceptance of change tends to occur slowly, but in time we sort things out.  My personal opinion is that I see a lot of good things on the way--and, I see a lot of things that should never have been, i.e. liturgy done poorly, on the way out.

Will the New Translation Signal the End for Liturgy Wars?

NCR's John Allen, Jr. shares his thouhts:

The mid-June vote of the U.S. bishops in favor of a new translation of the Order of Mass may one day be remembered, to borrow a phrase from George Bush, as the “end of major combat operations” in the liturgy wars that have rocked English-speaking Catholicism since the mid-1990s.

Get the story here.