Today's gospel starts out where last week's left off. Jesus had just fed the five thousand with two fish and five loaves of bread, and still mourning the death of John the Baptist, he sought some time to be alone and pray. I can imagine that although Jesus had just worked a great miracle, he might not have been feeling all that great. He needed some time to be alone. So he went up the mountain to pray and look within. He went to listen to God. Then in the evening he returned—by walking on the sea— to his disciples who were a few miles off shore in a boat.
Despite the greatness and awe of bible miracles we've got to be careful not to be distracted by their thunder, glory, or the sheer magnificence that they hold in themselves. It's also not so important to understand how the miracles took place as it is to understand what they signify or point out to us. Often people make the mistake of trying to explain miracles, either by giving them a naturalistic explanation or giving them a supernatural one. Either way betrays a shallow or immature understanding, or perhaps even a shallow or immature kind of faith. A miracle occurs when we experience an extraordinary event, on a deep level, which points to a greater truth. Many theologians understand miracles as signs that point to or provide evidence of greater truths, say of the divinity of Jesus, or of his being the messiah. The important thing about a miracle is what it shows us in regard to the truths of the faith and living it.
In both stories we find Jesus expecting the disciples to do something that seems to be outside the scope of human ability. In the first narrative he tells them to feed more than five thousand people with what little they had available, and in the second narrative it's to walk on water, though Peter anticipated the Lord by asking him to command that he meet him on the water. However, Peter, realizing he had been hasty in his faith, started to sink, which earned him the Lord's rebuke, "O you of little faith." Jesus and Peter were probably both aware of the rabbinical legend of Nachshon, who, at the time of the Exodus, jumped out head deep in front of Moses before the parting of the Red Sea. Nachson, being a poor swimmer, would have drowned had Moses not stretched out his hand over the waters allowing the sea to part in the nick of time. Although Nachshon failed to walk on water, his legend survives because of his initiative.
The current cycle of gospel narratives focuses on faith, and these narratives seek the kind of faith that imitates the Lord. In the feeding of the multitude Jesus breaks the bread and gives it to his disciples to distribute. It took faith on their part to continue the breaking and sharing, just as it would have taken faith for Peter to step out of the boat onto the water without sinking. In our lives as Christians in the world each day we have a calling upon us to imitate the faith of the Lord. Every day presents opportunities and by faith we step out and make the hand of God present. We might easily envision ourselves as being part of a great procession that began with Jesus breaking bread. We come to Eucharist to distribute and receive and we go out into the world giving what is within; giving what we have been given to give; giving from the depths of who we are.
I've put some thought to it and I've come to believe that imitating the Lord's actions is all about the giving of ourselves. In the great biblical miracles we see God giving what God has to give; we see Jesus giving what he has to give, and we see him asking his disciples to give according to what they have to give. Could it be that the times when it seems like our faith fails us, the times when we start to sink in doubt, are the times when we underestimate or fail to see what we have within ourselves to give?
Before the Lord walked on the water, he went to the mountain to be alone and pray. Perhaps we need to take a good look within ourselves and reconsider what we might offer the world in which we live. However, it's a good idea to be mindful of the criticism that Christians who pray but offer no action really have nothing to offer. Recall that the New Testament scripture tells us that faith without works is dead. People of all religions love to look within. I think of the great Christian mystic tradition of prayer, or perhaps of the eastern religious traditions of meditation and chant. People all over the world, even nonbelievers, enjoy solitude and meditation. In our current spiritual environment we are taught to embrace the quiet and listen, and I'm reminded especially of the image of Elijah recognizing the Almighty God in a tiny whispering sound.
However important it is to look within ourselves, the real value of searching within is to focus us on what we have that we may give, because the true direction of faith is not inward: it is always outward. We always look to others in faith. We find what treasure we possess, and then by faith we look toward the world in which we live and we give completely. We imitate the Lord who emptied himself. We give exhaustively and then, allowing God to fill us again, we continue to give. The true miracle, as quiet or as tiny as it may seem, is to let go of doubt and to step out on faith with the initiative of Nachshon who sought to tread the sea ahead of Moses.
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